wasted

I carried the cooler
with me
on subways
and cable cars
on gondolas
and tired horses
ready to die

I didn't have much time
left to get the heart
where it needed to be
and looking for an empty chest
became a chore
after the first year

i'd open it up and check on it
occassionally
like a kitten
who couldn't quite yet
take care of itself

telling us both lies
that it wasn't all for naught
as I unplugged from the mainframe
once more each night
to try to electrify
something that was
dying
with no place to go