ketamine

When you tried to find the vein
in my hand
Then my wrist
Then my elbow

Trying to avoid the bruises
We agreed to earlier

You always seemed to miss
the main artery
That had burst wide open
years ago

Needled open,
you thought,
until you saw the fingerprints
and looked away
to have to avoid identifying them
as your own

But we ignored
the obvious
until it became
jejune

Because we didn’t
Want to clean up the blood
Once more

That was too tedious
and you had no time
for that anyway

So I often spent my Saturday nights
Ordering more supplies
to absorb
the loss

And it was easier
To get to the bardo
that way

Tending to
the small pricks that
vanished in a week
and not a
big one
that never healed