Blog Archives

doubled

6/1/2024

Jumping rope was easy
If you had friends controlling
The rotations
To match your limp

A recipe for success
even if
they cheated
too

but for some
It was harder to predict
With less anticipation
Of whether you’d enter smoothly
Or be whipped
For trying
again and again
until their wrists got tired

the survey

6/1/2024

As she checked her phone
and looked at the door
the doctor assured
her patient
that she could fix her

A survey would be sent,
post haste,
to complete
before the next
appointment
to expedite the healing

This
was
very
...important

What medication
would you like to be on
in the meantime,
the doctor asked

And the patient
prescribed her own
pills
while waiting
for an email that
never came

waiting room

6/1/2024

I waited without
An appointment
Or any knowledge
If whether you closed
Your practice and went
To the Bahamas

The receptionist
Called out sick
And every incoming call
Went unanswered
to a coughing message
that no one could understand
in your voice
but not your cadence

The TV still worked though
in the dark complex
Playing a video from a VHS tape
That glitched when it got
To the end
And rewound
as a spider appeared
in front of my face
to wonder if it should bite me
or not

I tried to water the plants
but the cooler was low
and I realized that all the things
you used
to surround yourself
with
would die
when you stopped looking at them,
anyway

antlers

6/1/2024

In the dark room
Down the hall
A moose scared
Himself
When his antlers
Fell off
Before he was ready

It didn’t hurt
It was just unexpected

The door was locked
And unlocked
Many times
With observers
Taking note
Of his every breath
Wondering if the antlers
Would be worth anything
On the black market
Now that breeding season
was over

But it was easier
For the moose
To leave the room now
Without the burden
Of useless antlers
So he jumped out the side window
And no one chased after him

clay pots

6/1/2024

In an old adobe maze
Concrete blocks and dust for days
Beige everything
It was either the end of the world
Or the beginning

I panicked when I heard footsteps
The man had finally found me
And pulled my burlap sack closer
And said we should stick together
He couldn’t remember who he was either

When he fell asleep
I etched on the glass
something I wouldn't recall
And ran
Unsure of which directions
Wouldn’t have eyes

wasted

6/1/2024

I carried the cooler
with me
on subways
and cable cars
on gondolas
and tired horses
ready to die

I didn't have much time
left to get the heart
where it needed to be
and looking for an empty chest
became a chore
after the first year

i'd open it up and check on it
occassionally
like a kitten
who couldn't quite yet
take care of itself

telling us both lies
that it wasn't all for naught
as I unplugged from the mainframe
once more each night
to try to electrify
something that was
dying
with no place to go

stages

6/1/2024

After your performance,
the Wednesday matinee,
you exited the stage
but kept making jokes

You looked at me,
puzzled,
expecting me to
heckle
you -
like the people
who paid
to see you
liked to do

When I didn't laugh,
you began your choreography;
then the magic show routine
where you were less Houdini
and more water tank;
You could hold your breath
a long time;
a trick no one asked to witness

The manager hung back
to watch my patience
and shook his head
while clicking
off
all the lights

You finished
with your Hamlet soliloquy
for the bartender
who just wanted to
go home
instead of being asked to
feed you
lines

The next day
when the curtain rose
no one remembered;
except me in my sobriety

You forgot the scene
and pretended there
was a new one written
without an author
or audience

amphibious

6/1/2024

I filled up my aquarium
with water
from a faucet
that sprung a leak;
it took longer than usual

i had yet to figure out
what my fate was -
drowning by inches
or if i could disappear
in the creek
with the minor inconvenience
of a water
trail

I couldn't breathe
but then I could -
and it repeated
over and over again
where I couldn't remember
which state to be in
after so many changes

seatmates

6/1/2024

When you left
to go down the aisle
I wondered if you'd notice
the chocolate I put
on your armrest

We hadn't spoken a word
the entire flight
and you pretended
I wasn't there
despite gazing past me
to view the clouds
and spilling cranberry juice
all over me,
repeatedly

It was hard to remember
why either of us
had booked this route
in particular

We were, of course,
going to the
same
destination
(I had told you that 20 years ago)
but you wanted
to skip the journey
with me
until every other flight
was sold out

On this one, in particular,
you began with lost luggage
and empty duffel bag
filled with straw that
the airline gave you
to trick you
into thinking
you had
everything

Without a word
at the luggage carousel
I lifted your bags
pretending they were
filled with precious rocks
and you wheeled them away
chuffed
at your strength

little gods big

6/1/2024

you made
little gods big
and pursued them
with fervor

you couldn't see
the masks
and the costumes
and makeup

or if you did
you didn't care...
or admired their ability
to be
something
magnified

it was easier
to believe
the big lies
while eating
cotton candy
and you could disregard
the claw marks
on the door
from animals you
never saw
and never had to feed

stanchions

6/1/2024

240 stanchions
Connected with velvet ropes
or chains
or nothing at all
depending on the day

Keep your eyes on the ground
and don’t look too far
because then you’d see
where they lead
you might notice
that one is missing

and you would be disappointed

There were occasional breaks
but everyone seemed to follow
the person ahead of them
because it would be
weird
to acknowledge
something wasn’t there

If you walked straight through
you’d be tsked.
by people who were mad
that they hadn’t
thought of that first

the menu

6/1/2024

At a dim chateau
with fusion cuisine
we stared at the menu
for more than an hour
in silence at first
then something beyond
that

You pointed out
the numerous spelling errors
and lack of accent aigu
on the paté

80% of restaurants
fail within 5 years of
opening
you said;
I nodded and looked at
my watch

I asked the waiter
how long
we had been there;
4 years and 11 months
he said;
while
staring me
dead in the eye,
unblinking

You asked
for another
gin and tonic
as another hour passed
and another
as our stomachs
growled
Mine with a riotous gurgle,
yours with a whimper

The lights clicked off
on their usual timer at 1:00am;
I was escorted
to my car
with the bill for your drinks
as you remained
alone in the dark shadows
trying to decide on food
you'd never eat

woodpeckers

6/1/2024

I thought
for years
that the cause of the
dis
con
nec
tion
was the lightning storm
overhead

But the storm passed
and I still couldn't get through

Kicking through the garden
past the debris
I found the severed wires
meticulously cut
and surveillance
footage
of your shadow
stacking 2 by 4s
to make your wall

You watched from your
bush hideout
as I discovered
the thousand tiny acts
of sabotage
as I looked at you
and nodded,
watching the woodpeckers
descend
on the construction
looking for your grubs

zippers

6/1/2024

The zipper on my hoodie
was
broken;
it chewed
a few steps
before getting
stuck
or it never caught on
in the first place

Most people
didn't notice;
my coldness
wasn't their problem,
and they were busy
with their own sartorial issues
with
snaps
and buttons and clasps

Some suggested oil
or maybe soap?;
others just told me to
throw my hoodie out altogether;
get a new one that didn't require
two hands to operate

I've tried to knit a sweater
but I never mastered
the neckhole

I decided to just put on a
heavier
coat
with an industrial zipper
to ensure I'd be covered
and hoped it would be fixed
by summer
so I wouldn't die
under layers
of wool and feathers

oil

6/1/2024

You forgot to order the oil
This month
With the coldest day of the year
Coming soon!
in Boston

But no worries for you
because
Your boyfriend lived nearby
with heat

But I would have to suffer
Your forgetfulness
on an inflated air mattress
and a space heater
You hastily bought for me

And the chore of feeding
Your two cold cats
more food than they wanted
as we stared at each other
in a triangle
thinking the same thing

while we knit a hat
that wouldn't be finished before
the icicles rendered
my finger useless

your grandparents' grave

6/1/2024

your grandparents' grave
went unvisited
in a shady spot
by a big tree
that provided more
bird shit
than cover

i left pots of
red anemone and marigolds
when I stopped
to tell them about
what you had
been up to
before you died

I always wondered
if they even cared;
or if they
were ever curious
why you never came
but I did

Perhaps they were
too
ashamed
to haunt
even you

coding

6/1/2024

Every line led
To the same
Output

The same day
On repeat
Run time: until
Program Ends

If bug encountered
shut down,
reboot;
Preserve memory,
execute again

Like Matryoshka dolls
Different but the same
Discarding or adding
The same version
Hoping no one notices
A little more vanishes
With each incarnation

A waiting room
in a veterinarian's office
Full of
Lizards shedding their skin
only to discover they are
Still
a lizard;
And a bigger one at that

A healthy development
according to the code,
more of the same

Growth isn’t all that
desirable
When you become a
new and improved
version
Of what you don’t want
with an avatar you
didn't choose

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